On Bars

So a Finnish friend is down under and we decided to bring him around to impress him with the highly established Melbourne bar life.

We bar hopped over 10 venues in the whole night starting at 8pm untill 2am. A drink and then the next.

This was not just a learning curve for Jukka (Yuu Ka) but i was again amazed and awed by the variety, the cultural depth and the intensity of the Melbourne bar life that is very much alive at any day of the week.

Out of the 10 plus venues we visited, i would say i have only been to 2 or 3. Alot were random bars and pubs that we stumbled upon or through asking strangers on the street.

It was awesome! Interestingly we stumbled on alot of "Underground" bars. Not your plush, minimalism, modern, chic or Sex and the City kind of bar. It was truly underground playing international underground house music, a make shift drinking area in the alleys where drainage pipes hits you in your face as you down your drink. Where the crowd is grungy, rough, and they come in a whole assortment of races.

Why! i even found a bar that played my much idolised French hip hop and R&B!!!! Sexy.

Then there was Polly. A velvety bar reminiscent of French Boudouirs. Very gay friendly from my observation.

Apart from being the only Asian, i had a ton load of fun. Brazilians, Africans, Australians, The Swedes, and then my Finnish friend.

I wanna do this again.

Memory harbors vast amount of events that somehow gives the perception that it has only occurred in recent memory. A birthday, a holiday, a special moment with someone or the final hour spent with a friend before he or she boards a plane. We could assume that these have only coincided in the past six months when in fact it has been over a year ago.

Christmas Eve has prodded me to reflect. What was I doing last year during this month? What was the weather like? Who was I with? What other important events have taken place?

So when I was prompted by a friend as to how long it has been since I have been single and was forced to pen the facts. I was astounded by the one year period. I was under the impression that it was merely eight to nine months. So what if I was never prompted to consciously make a mental calculation of the months that has elapse? Would I always assume the nine month lapse for another five months?

It is unanimous that time flies and that we are continuously reminded of its reality over and over again. I do not think its effect would ever wear out on me. Because each time it proves itself to me, it imprints on me a greater appreciation for something. I am always lost for words.

oh, and Merry Christmas!

In the name of shopping.

So the pace of my life has been fairly slow and monotonous for now... what, with all the Holiday preparation (what preparation?) and the winding down of work, i have not any interesting stories to share.

However, i am rather pleased with myself with the little crevices i have opportuned upon to get me that extra cash in this season where money is sought after.

Apart from my day job, my old boss from the bar calls me occasionally to help him out during busy nights. You see, i am the best bar tender there is for miles around. In my whole tenure at the bar, everyone came and go. Either they were discontinued by the manager or they simply did not live up to MY expectations or they simply could not cope with the high pressure environment. Hence they were shown the door.

So this time when i am asked back to lend a hand, i decided to monopolise the negotiations in regards to my pay. I demanded to be paid $20 an hour, all tips to go to me and to be paid on the spot at the conclusion of the night.

Naturally my former boss was grappling with this "oh so unreasonable" demand and attempted to haggle but i did not allow any of it! So he did finally concede to my demands and i have been getting extra cash for shopping. Mua haha.

In addition, i got a call on my mobile on Monday from a person who goes a long way back. It was this Polish guy who used to call me for help on using the computer. He needed someone to tutor him on using Excel and asked how much i would charge him. Off my head, i just blurted out $30 an hour and to my surprise he agreed within the second.

Oh goody!

So today after work i went to his place to tutor him for two hours.

Time to shop tomorrow. My Christmas shopping list is far from finished.

My latest acquisition... Cuban Boots

The story of,

I sat in my room today and analysed. I analysed objects in my room that I have become so accustomed to. I analysed objects that I have grown oblivious over time to their existence when each of them had a meaningful history attached to it. I sat down and retraced the story of each object.

There was the artwork I created in school eight years ago where I can still see myself creating them.

Then there was my name tag I wore when I was still schooling in Malaysia.

The 1000 piece jigsaw puzzle sitting on my table top I created with my dear cousins when they were still in Melbourne more than 6 years ago.

A newspaper cutting that has been sitting on top of my bed for the past 10 years.

8 years old photo films yet to be developed.

A wooden plaque that was given by my mother in my first year in Australia to remember her by.

The list goes on.

Try it. Sit down, analyse and retrace the memories.

Being Wrong

The worst feeling one could endure, would be the overwhelming realisation in the middle of an argument that you were completely wrong.

What you do after that gives a precise indication of an individual's personality. Do you dig and entrench yourself deeper in your erroneous opinion or do you admit the flaws in your reasoning and accept correction graciously?

Hmm.

The emotional spectrum of an individual expands as they mature. Here I am today at home on a Monday night feeling things I have never felt before, thinking things I do not ever remember venturing into.

I have five folders of letters, some as old as ten years. They were composed during those early years in Melbourne when I used to correspond with my friends back in my hometown. They are priceless, but I hate to read them.

Reading them transports me to simplicity and the life I had at that period. It was easy! Wake up, go to school, play sports and them come home to watch TV.

I do not wish to revert back to that mental state. Neither do I enjoy today’s.

Today it is wake up, go to work, come home and relax. Simple as it sounds but every mental break away from work is occupied with other thoughts that beckon you away from a rested mind.

What am I trying to say here?

Perhaps it is not as complicated as I am describing it to be.

Perhaps I am just down.

But then I ache to find the cause and cure for this melancholy.

I GOT IT!

I LOST MY DRIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OMG!

Pre-ecstasy with SJ

GLOBE Annual Party

Staff Christmas Party

Unhappy... very.

Quote of the weekend:

"I hate going to Asian clubs because when the hot chicks come out, they come out all at once."

Watch.

Lands of Contrast

Kuching, my home town.

Melbourne, my residence.

Islam in Action

LONDON - A man slaughtered and tried to eat a wild swan because he was hungry during the Muslim fasting month of Ramadan. Shamshu Miah, 52, knifed the bird at a lake and bit its neck. Police found Miah with blood on his clothes and feathers in his beard. The married father of one told officers:

"I am a Muslim, I am fasting, I had to eat. I was hungry, I had to eat the swan."

"I killed it, I stabbed it. I did nothing wrong. It was just a bird. I needed to eat."

When told it was illegal to kill a swan because it was the property of the Queen, Bangladesh-born Miah replied: "I hate the Queen, I hate this country."

Miah was jailed for two months after admitting possession of a knife in public and intentionally killing a wild bird.

-Daily Mail

bye.

I woke up today, I awoken to what i initially set my heart on ascertaining and securing. I strayed from my goals with a flurry of short lived pleasures. I lost my way in the crowd and it is about time i set myself straight again. Whatever pleasures i have engaged myself in has not promoted me any closer to my desire. Contrary to that, it has delayed me and squandered precious time.

Today i will be severing all ties and all forms of affinity. It is for the best. I can not waste time watering a seed that has destined itself never to blossom.

It has ripen to the wrong recipient.

Diminished but not lost, ashen but not expired.

I am sorry.

I have not felt so ill for such a long time.

The initial headache i brushed off as mere lethargy earlier on at work wore on to something worse.

Headache, aches in my back and joints, sorenesss around my body, coldness, weakness and the sensation of throwing up.

God help me!

Portia's Bday

Like useless old rags to be discarded out, so too are some people in our life.

The 2006 Melbourne Spring Races at Flemington

It was a very good long weekend.

Eve of the Melbourne Cup and i went to Tommy's steamboat and cocktail party only to rush off early for an early start the next day at the Races.

So it was my first time and i caught up with a few friends and also met alot of new acquaintances.

Sum to say. I had an awesome time and will definitely be back next year!

David. Lifetime friend from my junior high school days.

Peter our Host.

I cringe whenever the police are around!
Our own Marquee!

Giant TV screen right behind us.

I had an image overhaul today. Like a spur of the moment thing when suddenly you want to change something immediately, this instant, right now!

So i dyed my hair to intense black, no more the ash brown and styled it back with super hard gel (something i have not used since high school). Reminds me of those Chinese Uncles except i look slicker.

hehehehehehehehehe

Decisions...

So i am at a point where i am where i want to be. I remember my last semester of university when i ached to find a full time professional job. I went on the dole right after my last exam. I recalled the interviews and the speeding fines i accumulated during that period from speeding to my interview venues. And now?

I finally got it. But the vacuum of my desires and ambitions will never be pacified.

I have missed out a part in my life i know will never present itself as an opportunity again. I have stepped to far out.

Did i rush into building my career a little too hastily? Because i see my contemporaries from the old days, from university and from the small cavities of friends i have come to known LIVING life. Some have trekked far Eastern Europe for half a year, some on exchange in Japan, some living out their dream in London, some relocating to Montreal, some going on a scholarship to New York, some doing what they love in Paris and then i am here. In Melbourne.

It is not all too bad, being in Melbourne. However it is acknowledging the "what if?" thats gnaw at you. Not achingly, but intense enough to give you pause.

What if i did this? What if i went there? What if i was brave enough?

But wait!

Remember the grass always looks greener on the other side?
And this time round someone did return from the other side bearing news that will comfort. Living anywhere in this world is pretty much the same. It is how you live your life that matters and how much you make out of it.

That is how i perceive it to be anyway.

Dinner at Vue Le Monde

Russian black caviar on seafood paste and carrots.

Mushroom risotto topped with mushroom cloud.

Foie gra and pistachios.

Fish, lobster and olive.

Carrot consumme with dry ice.

Pork, white cloud and pork paste .

Grade 10 beef on pea paste bed and bernaise sauce.

Pastry with custard.

Smoked chocolate cigars.

Chocolate fudge, ice cream and nuts.

Dessert assortment.

I find solace in God.

When my surroundings turns hostile, when uncontrollable events present themselves antagonistic against me, when your work you have been striving to cultivate crumbles before you.

I turn off the lights, pull my covers over my head and pray knowing that at the end of the day, everything is in his hands. That everything had been a part of his greater design and purpose.

It will be okay.

Feeeeelll the PRESSURE!

I am starting to feel the pinch at work now. By that i am referring to the pressure placed on you from your neighbour sitting at the next carousel up to my manager, my director and the CEO!

So okay, i have been at this job for say 6 weeks? And since 3 weeks ago i have already been inundated with "High Priority" work. However, the past and coming week will be the true test of my resilience and competency.

So the program in which the company invested $1 million on is on a stand still. Apparently everything is fine back up in Sydney where the head office is but the program runs at a crawl here in Melbourne.

And i am thrown in the middle, expected to make a modified version of this program to counter this inconvenience whilst the technicians in Sydney work up a solution.

And because i have an IT background i am given the responsibility. Shivers!

My director has suspended all my key roles in the finance side of things to go back to my IT roots.

So okay i have been working on the prototype. Sent it to Sydney today for the Managers to have a look there and will be avaiting feedback by Thursday.

I actually enjoy this. But it is exactly something like this, the pressure and the costs involved that keeps someone awake at night albeit the aid of sleeping pills.

Inherently i may save my company $12000 or cost them $12000. It is a small deal of money compared to other projects they are doing but for goodness sakes i have only just started!!!

Do not get me wrong. I am not complaining. This is exactly the sort of stuff i wanted. To grow and develop myself professionally under the vigilance of my superiors.

Will be sleeping on it again.

22 Years Old

So today is officially my birthday. The downside of celebrating your birthday on a day apart from the actual date is that its meaning has been eroded and it has lost the auspicious aspect of it. I even cringe when i people call me up to wish me a happy birthday or when my beautiful colleagues go out of their way to buy me my third cake, call everyone into the board room and sing me the ubiquitous song the third time over to me in a span of 1 week.

This year was downscaled dramatically. My 21st was big. A cocktail soiré with a percussions band, a DJ and an attendance of up to 150.

This year although smaller by half, had more meaning and intimacy. I knew everyone, there was food and it was easier on the wallet.

Truthfully i am pretty sick of hearing Happy Birthday wishes. My manager has been going on about it since last week and it is unnecessary attention. Everyone has Birthdays.

I crave for a quiet one this weekend. The hustle and bustle of the past two weeks has made me really really tired.

My Latest Acquisition

Saw this work of art in the window of an antique shop earlier this week during my lunch break and immediately fell in love with it.

Today was the only day that i had enough spare lunch hour to actually have a look. Its a gramaphone! A music player popular in the 1920s. The antique shop even had some really old European records to play with! Listening to it in the shop gave me images of the movie Saving Private Ryan where in one scene a gramaphone was playing a German song amidst the rubble and ruins of a town. Beautiful.

Naturally i bought it on the spot. One of the best purchases i have made in a long time!

Cultures, with it comes the good and bad. Filter out the bad seeds of a society and learn the good of other cultures to make living a better one.

Malaysia
The conclusion of a Chinese banquet style dinner and then comes the embarrassing scrambling for the bill by different families. The goal? To symbolise fortune, to have "face", to protray an image that they have got their financial act together and ultimately to feel that they have done everyone on the round table a tremendous act of charity and generosity.

Driving home and then it dawns on them the magnitude of the bill. The impulsion of their foolish act of the unneeded charity work. The "face" and recognition they gained that probably dissipated in the memories of the dinner guests within the hour. The pangs of the damage done to their wallet haunting them through the weekend. Seriously? It is just not worth it.

Australia
The conclusion of dinner and each individuals calculates their own share of the bill and contributes their part. Simple, straightforward and free. No feelings of remorse, no feelings of obligations or indebtedness. Perfect.

Milestone