Slapdash

a) My mouth is consistently parched no matter how much water i drink.
b) My nasal passage is so clear i could hit a note an octave above my range.
c) I find myself smiling to myself for no apparent reason.
d) I drift in and out of sleep during sleep.
e) My jaws are sore due to my subconscious clenching of teeth.
f) My lips are bleeding due to my voracious appetite to suck an object.
g) My skin and face feels detoxified, clean and amazingly fresh.

Only veterans would know.