Wednesday, January 17, 2007

My Family

The recent passing of my favourite grandmother has given me a change of heart. If everything goes according to plan, i will be making my way back home in a month time for my other grandmother's birthday. I have always shied from the opportunity to return home. I would make a stop at Kuala Lumpur but never divert to Kuching although it was merely an hour flight away.

This time however, i realised that i could no longer hold my family in contempt. Sure the typical folks back home are nosy and gossipy. Nontheless, that is who they are and they are my family, my heritage, my identity. I love them.

I am rather excited honestly. Everyone from across the globe will be back. Cousins i have not seen for twenty odd years, aunties who i have never met and new additions to the family tree whom i have not seen as yet.

Take a big family photo and then wait another ten GODDAMN years to get together again. By then... who knows what changes there would be. There will be fresh blood, offsprings, but also missing loved ones who will leave us. Those who have witnessed the exponential growth of the family, those who were there at the very beginning.

Looking back at the photo taken ten years ago of the whole family fills me with sadness. Everyone has grown up, people have moved away, take the head of the family away and everyone disperses. You see, after the death of my grandmother, there would not be any more reason for anyone to return home. Who knows when would my dad see all his brothers and sisters all at once again? No one is left to pull the cords.

I remembered just four years ago i used to boast of my family. I had two greatgrandmothers, two grandmothers and two grandfathers. And in just a span of 4 years i have only one grandmother and grandfather left. Circumstances change before you even realise it.

I am going home!

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