The Ball

Venom

I have great respect for those who know boundaries and adheres to it. I have an even greater and profound respect for those who chooses not to exploit the vulnerability of someone when their secrets, demons and weaknesses are laid at the feet exposed.

Rather than enterprising from their vulnerabilities, they shrug it off saying that it is not any of their concern and that they are entitled to their privacy. Sadly to say there is but a minority of those who i could respect in this sense.

How many of us would lunge forward to devour the juice of someone's misfortunes and secrets? How many of us possess any sense of propriety and self respect when it comes to the image and dignity of another?

So often we revel in the destruction of others. To see them struggle in their waste and predicament. The will to abstain from noxious gossip and speculation is almost impossible to muster.
Hmm.

I have low tolerance for rubbish. I can not be in the vicinity of company that are so full of shit only mindless unintelligent remarks spew from their rubbish mentality. Rubbish comments does not embarrass you, it embarrasses the people around you. Rubbish is obligated to be purged. Time is due to fucking grow up and get with the program because everyone has. Period.

I dig complimenting girls. I love to flatter them with praises and compliments and then see them go all bimbo.
It is amazing how easily these bimbettes get flattered. It is comical and hilarious.

So i would be, "Hey your looking real hot tonight. What's up??"
and then they gush: "Really??? THANK YOU!!!"
Or i would say, "Those shoes are really sexy. Your really pretty... MAN!!! your just gorgeous tonight!"

Okay, i shall not venture into describing how a girl would respond to such flattery. Bimbo, just bimbo.

Haha (Of course there are times when i can be downright sincere and honest... You never know eh?)

You know what wawa is?

St. Kilda

a) My mouth is consistently parched no matter how much water i drink.
b) My nasal passage is so clear i could hit a note an octave above my range.
c) I find myself smiling to myself for no apparent reason.
d) I drift in and out of sleep during sleep.
e) My jaws are sore due to my subconscious clenching of teeth.
f) My lips are bleeding due to my voracious appetite to suck an object.
g) My skin and face feels detoxified, clean and amazingly fresh.

Only veterans would know.

Career and stuff.

Considering the fact that this semester is my final, i have been consumed with the fresh-graduates syndrome. You know, the disheartening apprehension if you will be employed and the prospects of getting a decent job. I recalled the last time i was consumed with this feeling. It was during my last year of secondary school where i worked my ass off. My mind was literally riveted with the thought of not securing a high enough ENTER score to get into the course and university i wanted. Whenever i put my pen down for a pause to rest from my studies, i would be harassed by images of me pushing supermarket trolleys on the streets and becoming a bogan* flicking bogey at flies on the wall. I was distraught. SCARED! So instantaneously i get this fresh boost of energy to work my ass off for another 5 hours before i call it a day.

What a life!

But my work paid off. I got 94.3 for my ENTER. Yes it is humble in comparison to those other Asian nerds who whinge about getting 99.999995 or something. Idiots.

Back to what i am trying to say.

So the last time i was tormented by this nerve-racking feeling, i turned out okay. This time round i hope i still carry the luck aura haha. Something like Warcraft 3... you know! the auras the hero emanates.

You see, right this instance i am midway in completing an extensive, mentally taxing and torturous graduate application with this organisation. I am flat out! Tomorrow is the cut off date for a great many companies and i have only covered a few. (I have begun to suspect this blog entry was to serve as a vent for my frustration. Hmm)

So it is my utmost desire and hope that things would turn out well as it had the last time.

The weekend is going to be mad!

Kill me. The only constant in my life are changes. I am denied adequate time to digest and catch up with this pace. I am tired beyond words. Fatigued!

Good times.

I love my new shoes.

Foreigners in Hibernation.

Well superficially we all seem to converse and dialogue decently enough. Individuals from constrasting extremities in upbringing who are able to hold mundane conversations.

What i mean is that we interact with people everyday. People we have known for a long time or some that has just signed in to our lives in the past day or two.

So here we are talking. Uttering about every subject under the sun and then we enthuse about the feeling that we have every single thing in common and that our minds are alike.

But have you ever recalled an incident where a great conversation went ugly with something so paltry, a topic so ordinary yet powerful enough to disfigure the mood. Suddenly we come across this person who we thought of us our kin as someone so alien. Suddenly our thoughts are enstranged from each other. Suddenly they come under a different light.

We ask ourselves how on earth did this person got so close to us. What was it that drew us together initially? Because at this instance they amount to nothing but foreign.

There is so much that we do not know in the deep recesses of one's thoughts. Beware!

Friends today, strangers the next.

Plenty of things has occured during the past two weeks. So many that i find it a challenge to pen and articulate my thoughts.

There is just so many things to look forward to, yet so many things that restricts the dimension of my happiness internally. Hmm.

So this time i am dumbfounded.

Grrrrrrr...

In Transition

My Summer loving friends have always questioned me my favourite season. In my first few years in Melbourne i have always answered with Winter. This reply solicits remarks that usually ridicules my preference. And in response, i would even describe my perfect day. A cold cold Winter evening, overcast, gentle breeze, the last shreds of Autumn leaves to be seen on the streets and strolling on Russel St. with someone you love. Hmm.

Winter is encroaching. This time round however, there has been a slight shift in paradigm. My inclination over the years has evolved. I have grown to love Spring and the warmer weather. Because right now i am alluded to the ugly faces of Winter. The dreary, bleak and miserable weather, the cold that attacks your fingers and toes, loneliness, a cold bed, ughhh. Apart from my perfect day, everything else is dismal.

Ironically i am still looking forward for Winter. I miss those walks in the city tugging uselessly at your jacket to keep out the cold and the feeling of contemplation that tends to overwhelm you when you are out alone waiting to meet someone or even a trip to 7-11.

I love Winter.

Photos

I took around 1000 photos so the ones i have uploaded has been filtered through quite a little. Back in Melbourne and i have to deal with bills, my university work which is behind, and alot of other mundane but important things that i really have no heart to face. So i am more or less home alone for the next two weeks and it is strange. To be around people all the time during my time away and the sudden silence. Do not like it.

To tell you the truth, China did not make an impression for me. It has a long long way to go to beautify and modernise itself for the Olympics in 2008. The people were great however. My mind is a little dead so i will not write much. Just some photos to share.

Coffee Bean at Sungai Wang

On the way to Zouk Kuala Lumpur.

Last night in KL with Rina and Pei Lin at Luna Bar

Sean, my only friend in Beijing. Showed me around the night life.

Tiananmen Square.

The Forbidden City

The marble disc i am standing on has been stood on by 24 emperors of the past. It was the centre of the ceremonies held in the Temple of Heaven complex.

Little Potala Palace replica. Just a big and grandiose as the one in Tibet.

A sight fast disappearing in Beijing.

Frozen in ChengDe (third city visited).

The Ming Tombs.

Preparing to scale the Great Wall.

For those who frequent the bitchy BryanBoy's website you will recall this photo of him in his Beijing post. www.bryanboy.com

The highest point in Badaling area of Great Wall. Hardly anyone made it up there so i managed to take a photo without anyone in the background.

Pandas!