So i am at a point where i am where i want to be. I remember my last semester of university when i ached to find a full time professional job. I went on the dole right after my last exam. I recalled the interviews and the speeding fines i accumulated during that period from speeding to my interview venues. And now?
I finally got it. But the vacuum of my desires and ambitions will never be pacified.
I have missed out a part in my life i know will never present itself as an opportunity again. I have stepped to far out.
Did i rush into building my career a little too hastily? Because i see my contemporaries from the old days, from university and from the small cavities of friends i have come to known LIVING life. Some have trekked far Eastern Europe for half a year, some on exchange in Japan, some living out their dream in London, some relocating to Montreal, some going on a scholarship to New York, some doing what they love in Paris and then i am here. In Melbourne.
It is not all too bad, being in Melbourne. However it is acknowledging the "what if?" thats gnaw at you. Not achingly, but intense enough to give you pause.
What if i did this? What if i went there? What if i was brave enough?
Remember the grass always looks greener on the other side?
And this time round someone did return from the other side bearing news that will comfort. Living anywhere in this world is pretty much the same. It is how you live your life that matters and how much you make out of it.
That is how i perceive it to be anyway.