Watch.

Lands of Contrast

Kuching, my home town.

Melbourne, my residence.

Islam in Action

LONDON - A man slaughtered and tried to eat a wild swan because he was hungry during the Muslim fasting month of Ramadan. Shamshu Miah, 52, knifed the bird at a lake and bit its neck. Police found Miah with blood on his clothes and feathers in his beard. The married father of one told officers:

"I am a Muslim, I am fasting, I had to eat. I was hungry, I had to eat the swan."

"I killed it, I stabbed it. I did nothing wrong. It was just a bird. I needed to eat."

When told it was illegal to kill a swan because it was the property of the Queen, Bangladesh-born Miah replied: "I hate the Queen, I hate this country."

Miah was jailed for two months after admitting possession of a knife in public and intentionally killing a wild bird.

-Daily Mail

bye.

I woke up today, I awoken to what i initially set my heart on ascertaining and securing. I strayed from my goals with a flurry of short lived pleasures. I lost my way in the crowd and it is about time i set myself straight again. Whatever pleasures i have engaged myself in has not promoted me any closer to my desire. Contrary to that, it has delayed me and squandered precious time.

Today i will be severing all ties and all forms of affinity. It is for the best. I can not waste time watering a seed that has destined itself never to blossom.

It has ripen to the wrong recipient.

Diminished but not lost, ashen but not expired.

I am sorry.

I have not felt so ill for such a long time.

The initial headache i brushed off as mere lethargy earlier on at work wore on to something worse.

Headache, aches in my back and joints, sorenesss around my body, coldness, weakness and the sensation of throwing up.

God help me!

Portia's Bday

Like useless old rags to be discarded out, so too are some people in our life.

The 2006 Melbourne Spring Races at Flemington

It was a very good long weekend.

Eve of the Melbourne Cup and i went to Tommy's steamboat and cocktail party only to rush off early for an early start the next day at the Races.

So it was my first time and i caught up with a few friends and also met alot of new acquaintances.

Sum to say. I had an awesome time and will definitely be back next year!

David. Lifetime friend from my junior high school days.

Peter our Host.

I cringe whenever the police are around!
Our own Marquee!

Giant TV screen right behind us.

I had an image overhaul today. Like a spur of the moment thing when suddenly you want to change something immediately, this instant, right now!

So i dyed my hair to intense black, no more the ash brown and styled it back with super hard gel (something i have not used since high school). Reminds me of those Chinese Uncles except i look slicker.

hehehehehehehehehe

Decisions...

So i am at a point where i am where i want to be. I remember my last semester of university when i ached to find a full time professional job. I went on the dole right after my last exam. I recalled the interviews and the speeding fines i accumulated during that period from speeding to my interview venues. And now?

I finally got it. But the vacuum of my desires and ambitions will never be pacified.

I have missed out a part in my life i know will never present itself as an opportunity again. I have stepped to far out.

Did i rush into building my career a little too hastily? Because i see my contemporaries from the old days, from university and from the small cavities of friends i have come to known LIVING life. Some have trekked far Eastern Europe for half a year, some on exchange in Japan, some living out their dream in London, some relocating to Montreal, some going on a scholarship to New York, some doing what they love in Paris and then i am here. In Melbourne.

It is not all too bad, being in Melbourne. However it is acknowledging the "what if?" thats gnaw at you. Not achingly, but intense enough to give you pause.

What if i did this? What if i went there? What if i was brave enough?

But wait!

Remember the grass always looks greener on the other side?
And this time round someone did return from the other side bearing news that will comfort. Living anywhere in this world is pretty much the same. It is how you live your life that matters and how much you make out of it.

That is how i perceive it to be anyway.

Dinner at Vue Le Monde

Russian black caviar on seafood paste and carrots.

Mushroom risotto topped with mushroom cloud.

Foie gra and pistachios.

Fish, lobster and olive.

Carrot consumme with dry ice.

Pork, white cloud and pork paste .

Grade 10 beef on pea paste bed and bernaise sauce.

Pastry with custard.

Smoked chocolate cigars.

Chocolate fudge, ice cream and nuts.

Dessert assortment.

I find solace in God.

When my surroundings turns hostile, when uncontrollable events present themselves antagonistic against me, when your work you have been striving to cultivate crumbles before you.

I turn off the lights, pull my covers over my head and pray knowing that at the end of the day, everything is in his hands. That everything had been a part of his greater design and purpose.

It will be okay.

Feeeeelll the PRESSURE!

I am starting to feel the pinch at work now. By that i am referring to the pressure placed on you from your neighbour sitting at the next carousel up to my manager, my director and the CEO!

So okay, i have been at this job for say 6 weeks? And since 3 weeks ago i have already been inundated with "High Priority" work. However, the past and coming week will be the true test of my resilience and competency.

So the program in which the company invested $1 million on is on a stand still. Apparently everything is fine back up in Sydney where the head office is but the program runs at a crawl here in Melbourne.

And i am thrown in the middle, expected to make a modified version of this program to counter this inconvenience whilst the technicians in Sydney work up a solution.

And because i have an IT background i am given the responsibility. Shivers!

My director has suspended all my key roles in the finance side of things to go back to my IT roots.

So okay i have been working on the prototype. Sent it to Sydney today for the Managers to have a look there and will be avaiting feedback by Thursday.

I actually enjoy this. But it is exactly something like this, the pressure and the costs involved that keeps someone awake at night albeit the aid of sleeping pills.

Inherently i may save my company $12000 or cost them $12000. It is a small deal of money compared to other projects they are doing but for goodness sakes i have only just started!!!

Do not get me wrong. I am not complaining. This is exactly the sort of stuff i wanted. To grow and develop myself professionally under the vigilance of my superiors.

Will be sleeping on it again.

22 Years Old

So today is officially my birthday. The downside of celebrating your birthday on a day apart from the actual date is that its meaning has been eroded and it has lost the auspicious aspect of it. I even cringe when i people call me up to wish me a happy birthday or when my beautiful colleagues go out of their way to buy me my third cake, call everyone into the board room and sing me the ubiquitous song the third time over to me in a span of 1 week.

This year was downscaled dramatically. My 21st was big. A cocktail soiré with a percussions band, a DJ and an attendance of up to 150.

This year although smaller by half, had more meaning and intimacy. I knew everyone, there was food and it was easier on the wallet.

Truthfully i am pretty sick of hearing Happy Birthday wishes. My manager has been going on about it since last week and it is unnecessary attention. Everyone has Birthdays.

I crave for a quiet one this weekend. The hustle and bustle of the past two weeks has made me really really tired.

My Latest Acquisition

Saw this work of art in the window of an antique shop earlier this week during my lunch break and immediately fell in love with it.

Today was the only day that i had enough spare lunch hour to actually have a look. Its a gramaphone! A music player popular in the 1920s. The antique shop even had some really old European records to play with! Listening to it in the shop gave me images of the movie Saving Private Ryan where in one scene a gramaphone was playing a German song amidst the rubble and ruins of a town. Beautiful.

Naturally i bought it on the spot. One of the best purchases i have made in a long time!

Cultures, with it comes the good and bad. Filter out the bad seeds of a society and learn the good of other cultures to make living a better one.

Malaysia
The conclusion of a Chinese banquet style dinner and then comes the embarrassing scrambling for the bill by different families. The goal? To symbolise fortune, to have "face", to protray an image that they have got their financial act together and ultimately to feel that they have done everyone on the round table a tremendous act of charity and generosity.

Driving home and then it dawns on them the magnitude of the bill. The impulsion of their foolish act of the unneeded charity work. The "face" and recognition they gained that probably dissipated in the memories of the dinner guests within the hour. The pangs of the damage done to their wallet haunting them through the weekend. Seriously? It is just not worth it.

Australia
The conclusion of dinner and each individuals calculates their own share of the bill and contributes their part. Simple, straightforward and free. No feelings of remorse, no feelings of obligations or indebtedness. Perfect.

Milestone

I have bastardised everything... I have allowed doubt and cynicism to creep in.

The elements are blemished with the faint watermark of "UNSURE!"

Analyse This!

I am an Analyst by profession, perhaps that was made crystal clear already. What goes unnoticed is the fact that i have been analysing all my life, particularly people.

I believe after all these years of critical scrutinising of people, i have learned tolerance. A lot of it. In due course i aim to be 100% tolerant of everyone, albeit an exceedingly small minority of my demographic classification that shall always fall short of my patience. In essence, i strive to befriend everyone. Regardless of what they can deposit into my social savings account and the collected social standing each may impose on my very own. I am not simply stating that people should calibrate their tolerance levels after mine. In reality, tolerance and acceptance of others in my psyche is nothing more than modest.

Because what i do is to scan, analyse and sequentially tick off a mental checklist in my head. So and so fits this category, so and so will be a potential friend, so and so is not worth investing time with, etcetera. The past couple of years have seen an evolution in my thoughts. Once in a while i get to step back into my mental state i would be in the past three to five years and then draw a comparison with my approach to situations and scenarios i would have taken today.

I recall this friend of mine who wanted me to model some shots for his assignment. By nature, he was reserved and peculiar. Nevertheless i always allowed some small chat with him in a social environment. It was a Friday night and as a way to thank me he offered to shout me an expensive Japanese meal with constant, persistent inferences to his stagnant social life and the lack of friends to colour his mundane and lonely time here in Melbourne. I told him anytime he wanted to come out, just give me a call. I made discreet offers of a sincere friendship that was not built on expensive meals. Most of all, i made it a point to send infrequent smses querying how life was going with the usual greetings regalia. This has been a crucial advent in my social aptitude.

Now three to five years ago, i would never be in such a scenario. I was hardly accommodating to people too different from me. Firstly i would only talk to those that were talked to; i would invest my time into those who i deem "valuable". I would feel awkward to be seen spending my Friday nights with peculiar characters. Worst of all i would subconsciously overlook a person's presence. You see, making a conscious decision to disregard a person's presence in a room is not as atrocious as doing it without knowing. It simply reflects that it has become a part of you. No one is exempted from this, no one. Every one of us has inserted ourselves into a social bracket of a social ladder of our own design. Just ask the Indians.

The gist of the rubbish i have rambled about is this:

Never assume you are better than others. You WILL be surprised.

I could say with strict confidence that i have attained that status where i believe myself to be 100% complete. I never thought it would be so soon because the two major criterions to attain such a status for myself seemed bigger than me. I was deluded that both were as hard as hard can be. I thought it would be a process and struggle that would take a year or so. But in just one month, i have gotten it all.

I am complete.

Typical items for my weekend bag.

1. Toothbrush
2. Two pairs of fresh underwear
3. Sebastian Hair Clay
4. Hair Dryer
5. Socks
6. Spare change
7. Bar Work Clothes
8. Cash
9. Lip Balm
10. Condom(s)

Kohl Rimmed Eye(s)

So my designer cousin in the UK was updating me the antecedent of all things trendy and fashionable in London. This is whats in...

The kohl rimmed eye. I know this is nothing pioneering as it has already been saturated by movies such as The Pirates of the Caribbean. It is taking this concept and improvising further with the idea that we get something really interesting to experiment with.

And so she proceeded on defending her claim on this new trend arguing that a lot of people mistaken men with eye make-up as being a drag. In fact, this was grounds that has already been covered with the likes of Ewan McGregor, Iggy Pop, Lou Reed, Orlando Bloom, David Bowie or the New York Dolls. Drag? I suppose not!

Back to what i was trying to relay, the thing that is worth mention here was the resurgence of the Stanley Kubrick movie. It was this movie that acted as the catalyst for the evolution of the
"Clockwork Orange" style. It circulated around this psycho who goes around in a violent rage. Pretty much of a shock value show with rapes and murders. So what we see on the streets of London are these indie kids walking around with bowler hats and a single right kohl rimmed eye. Pretty cool i say!

Confession

You know, where i go so does my cell phone. Thats right! It sits under my pillow when i sleep, it follows me to my private library, when i take the car out to the shops two minutes walk outside my house, at work and it sits next to the pots and pans when im cooking... JUST EVERYWHERE!!!

That is why all you guys should start getting suspicious when i do not pick up your call or reply smses.

Thank goodness for dual screen clampshell phones with caller IDs! More often than not an unwarranted phone call is greeted with a gruff and a tossing of my phone across the table waiting for my voicemail to be activated.

There is no excuse really...

Oh my God i just tallied up to 49 pairs of jeans that i own! Craziness.

It rained heavily today.

And i was driving to my part time work. I ponder if i am overworking myself. 8 hours a day during the week in the office and 12 hours working at the bar on the weekends. I am young, i suppose i could get away with it.

20 metres from my work place and a boorish motocyclist zoomed and swerved between us cars rudely and rowdily. Cursing him in my head hoping he would collide in some castastrophic freak accident i blasted the music relishing the final minutes i had before i had to don on my alcohol infused apron and work the bar.

Green.

Revving the engine i made the U turn to work when i saw right up ahead approximately 100 metres from my car the same motorcyclist sprawled in the middle of the road with his bike metres away from him. It was surreal. I assumed his bike slidded off the wet bitumen and went crashing down. He then stood up and began walking towards his bike spectated by all the vehicles in the very big intersection.

I would be lying if i denied having any grain of satisfaction in my heart.

How do you expect one to accept you as a friend if you can not even accept yourself?

Driving home from work and i realised my high school librarian was driving alongside me. Immediately i was bombarded with images of her face. The times when we had a great deal of heated friction between us. In essence, you could say she was a complete bitch who was determined to make my visit at the school library a frustrating and an unenjoyable stay. Perhaps i was as uncompromising and as hot headed as her... Because somehow a great deal of my classmates gave her the leeway. Although we all unanimously concur of her controlling and unreasonable library policies. Actually, come to think of it we hated her guts. Her face was just of the greatest annoyance. It was bitter, hateful and never ceased to irk my irritance within.

Then i remembered one day as i was using the computer facilities in the library did she approach me with something to say that totally blew me away. She said sorry. Well the gist of what she muttered on that day was that she was going through a difficult time of her life in that period and that she realised her attitude towards others was not acceptable. She placed her arms around me and asked for my forgiveness. I hesitated.

Nevertheless i returned her hug and said that it was all fine. Naturally things were much different from that day on. As if all that nastiness were ursurped at that point in time. And then i see her driving side by side me today. Hmm.

So yes it was my first day at work today. Apart from the torment of feeling my eyeballs were being gouged out and mere lethargy, it was exciting. There were so much information and prodecures to digest and to execute in a short space of time. Basically it was a learn as you go process. It was like bang bang bang! I love my manager. She just exudes sincerity and warmth. The staff were extra helpful and caring, particularly the ladies. They showed the new recruits (me included) all the workings of the office.

I took home a small booklet of all the financial terms i have to get my tongue and head around. And then theres the inhouse software to accustomise myself to.

Tired as i am, i am off to watch Silent Hill at 9.30 tonight. Catch ya lata!

United Concert

50%

So tomorrow is my first day at my new job.

Nothing could be more perfect. Only 10 minutes drive from home, 10am-6pm (i get to sleep in and to avoid rush hour), full-time and in the industry that i want to be in... ie. Finance.

My role will be a Mortgage Analyst for a mortgage consulting firm.

I am 50% complete.

Time to hone my energy into pacifying the other 50% gnawing at me.

HURRY UP AND GET ME THE FREAKING CONTRACT!!! PRONTO!

Double Cooked Smoked Chicken

serve with plum sauce and fresh chillies.

It’s like Wow! Today is madness galore! A day with stark contrasts and breaking news. Petrol prices!!! It is just amazing. In just a few days, prices have fluctuated from 145.9 cents a litre to 119.5 cents! A delight really, just amazing.

And then I received a call from my friend who just found out she got pregnant. Like Wow! And no, it was not within the parameters of a marriage. Do not enquire of me their intentions of the fetus’s future. Do not want to delve into it just yet. But yes, I could not help myself. Pardon my insensitivity in spite of her destitute and trust in confiding the news with me BUT, I just had to take a jab at it. So I jokingly chided, “So did you want a dictionary for Names?”

AND THEN!!! Lo and behold! My o’faithful cell phone (that said with an intense connotation of sarcasm) bungled on me. I mentioned previously the profound reliability of Korean Electronics. Well here is a sample of one that is merely 5 months old.

Utterly speechless. How could trash like this make it through quality control? How did it ever satisfy the criterions of the ISO??? Un-be-lie-va-ble.

@ Red Emperor

I disregard all decency at times. I remember those awesome years i had when my cousin was still in Melbourne. That was three years ago. Well she was 5 years older than me and was living life to the max. She used to live just across the highway from Monash University and i would visit her almost everyday during my first year of university. How fortunate i was to be able to be in university the same time she was in her final year in Melbourne. We did all sorts of crazy antics. I remember as a whole line of cars were at the traffic lights, we started to cross the road in front of them. Stopping in the middle of the road, we started flapping our arms like a chicken and started dancing in circles around the middle of the road like chickens while scratching the ground with our shoes as if we are looking for seeds. It was embarrassing alright! But we were having fun. Everyone was gawking at us. Cars at the lights, oncoming traffic and pedestrians.

Why am i reminiscing? Because her mum came to Melbourne to visit my cousins elder brother. And my aunt is no different from my cousin.

God! I miss the Ongs!